..and I know it because I have you in my life. If all we ever are is friends, you’ve made my dreams come true. It isn’t fantasy.. it isn’t rose-colored glasses.. it’s you. You are amazing.. and even though I’m shy to open up.. to put it lightly.. I feel this connection to you. I think you feel it, too? I hope so.. I hope you mean that when you say it. I hope what happened in the past is behind us.. I hope I can make you feel loved. That’s truly all I ever wanted to do. I love you! The real kind.. not the kind people spout out all the time. And I know I say it so often that maybe it diminishes the meaning to you? But I mean it every time.. so deeply.

Whatever happens.. from here on.. I just want you to know that you’ve made me so happy.. and I never want to lose you.. even if we’re only ever friends. You’ve changed my world.. you make me feel something I’ve never felt before.. and it’s hard to define because if you don’t want me more than a friend I’m accepting of that! I just want you to stay. Please stay. I know it’s probably scary for both of us to open up.. well I think I can safely say it IS scary for us both. But you are safe with me.. and I do love you unconditionally. I can’t help it! lol Not that I want to!

It was never an illusion that I fell in love with. It was you, and I’ve never lost sight of you. The other stuff is just stuff. But you.. you.. I love you so much. It scares me that I need you and I don’t want you to feel pressure with that!!!!@#$#@$% Because I know people rely on you and your personality attracts people that are apparently needy or something! But I’m not “needy”.. we don’t have to talk everyday at all! We don’t have to text as often as we do! That isn’t necessary at all! I mean I love it if you love it but if you feel like I’m another needy person.. please know that I’m not. Truly!!! I can be a low-maintenance friend.. I just want to know that I am your friend and ah.. that’s another thing! I want to be there for *you*. I want you to feel like you can rely on me to dump some of your pressures on. You can! I want to be your best friend.. meaning I want to not be like most of your friends in that you can come to me too..

Now I feel like I’m rambling. You’ve heard it all before. But I mean what I say.. I don’t know how to show you that I’m for real except that I stop running away.. and I have. I’ve stopped. You’re IN, behbeh. 😉 … I guess time is the only thing that can show you that.. I hope that I can help you the way you have me. I hope you’ll open up so I can try. No, I don’t have a degree in philosophy, or in anything for that matter lol but I do have some insight.. that might be helpful. I don’t know. Maybe I don’t but I would like to try if you gave me the chance.

Do I want more with you? *grin* Do you KNOW the answer to that?! YEHESS! But I’ve got this disease among other things and ugh. I don’t want to let you down. Anyway, I’m wrapping this up because I’ve gotta go to the bathroom. X)

I love you. I *love* you. I don’t know how this will work or how it will go but I do know it’s working and it’s going and it’ll just keep getting better and smoother and creamier and substancier..